Tips for Dating Maria Sharapova

6 Oct

Last week, Maria Sharapova put herself up for auction, agreeing to go on a date with the highest bidder. The winning bid? $10,000. That’s a lot of coin to put down just to go on a date with the blonde tennis bombshell. If you plop down 10 G’s for a date, you better make the most of that date. So for our (rich) mystery friend, here’s 7 bits of advice to make sure your date with Maria goes as smooth as her serve (hopefully, with just as much grunting).

1. Look Her in the Eyes
Unless she’s not paying attention…

2. Offer Her Your Coat if She’s Cold
Fortunately, there’s nothing you can really do about that short skirt.

3. Make Her Feel Comfortable
Even if you’re a nervous wreck.

4. Offer Her Your Seat
Lucky seat…

5. Feed Her
Maria needs her nutrients!

6. Do What She Wants to Do
What’s that, Maria? You want to get into a little bikini and head to the beach? Okay!!

7. If She Wants to Play A-Round…
DO IT!!

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