The Many Faces of Mike Shanahan

The internets are buzzing about Mike Shanahan’s recent firing. Besides 2 Superbowls and many years of service, Shanahan has given Denver plenty of funny looking mugs. We don’t know if it’s the buck teeth, the baked Irish “tan”, or his cockeyed face, but the combination thereof has given AFC West fans plenty to laugh at (especially Raiders fans who have nothing else to smile about). With that in mind, we present to you the ultimate collection of MikeFace:

Should Shanahan retire from coaching completely, he can have a great career endorsing products as a pitchman for teeth whiteners. While he may have a face for radio, he definitely has the teeth of a rodent.

Here, even a cleaned-up Mike looks like he’s wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask with his 5 o’clock shadow and outstanding mouth.

We did a little digging and our research has found that whenever Shanahan takes a picture with a fan, he keeps the same blank Stepford face wherever he goes. This is evidence that he may possibly be a robot or just a high functioning autistic. You decide:

Nonetheless, despite his accomplishments on the sideline and market potential modeling for dentists, I believe Shanahan can really hit his stride on the small screen. Because of his freakish yet versatile look, I’m particularly thinking about science fiction. He has what producers call “it”. You don’t see it? Imagine his debut on the SciFi network:

And it’s not just the costume. He’s perfect for Skeletor:

Based on his above pictures with fans, the only real problem he’ll have to overcome is the fact that he clearly doesn’t know how to look into a camera (or he’s just cockeyed. We’re not sure). Minimal acting lessons and maybe a glass eye can fix that. Most importantly, you can’t teach “it”. And it’s a rare model who can recreate his lobster complexion, beaver mug, and million dollar smile–whether he’s toasting to Ed Hoculi, or trying to takeover Castle Grayskull.

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