10 Ways for Michael Vick to kill time on House Arrest

Michael Vick was scheduled to leave the Leavenworth, Kansas prison facility, where he was serving out his term for dog fighting, and be moved to a halfway house in Newport News.  However since it has been determined that there isn’t enough room at the house for the former quarterback, he will now be allowed to finish up the rest of his sentence on house arrest at his nearby home in Hampton, Virginia.  Now we all know that being stuck in your house for days at a time can get a little boring, even if you are a millionaire, so I’ve come up with 10 things that Michael Vick can do to pass time during the last two months of his sentence.

1. Buy the latest addition of John Madden Football for the Wii. This way not only can he stay in shape, but with a little practice he might finally be able to read an NFL defense.

2. Tired of PETA protesting outside of your mansion Mike?  Open up a non-profit dog grooming business from out of your own home to show that you’ve been rehabilitated and now LOVE dogs.  Just don’t try bathing the dogs yet, Mike!

3. Invite Brett Farve and the Wrangler models over to your house for a backyard game of Shirts vs. Skins, and don’t forget to water down the yard.

4. To words, “Puppy Love” Just imagine, Flavor Flav and Michael Vick living in the same house for two months, where the duo will choose their next pet from a group of bitches of varying breeds from all over the country.

5. Open up a Sports memorabilia business…I mean look how that turned out for OJ…wait never mind.

6. More T.V., Who wouldn’t watch Michael Vick on a “very special episode of the Dog Whisperer where Caesar Milan teaches Michael Vick to love dogs again.”

7. Practice throwing right handed so that when Vick returns to he NFL he’ll be the first quarterback able to bounce under thrown passes to receivers with both hands.

8. Work on his Touchdown Dances. Now that T.O. stands for Too Old and Ocho Cinco is Oye Loco, there just hasn’t been much excitement after touchdowns in the NFL.  I mean who wouldn’t laugh after Vick scored a touchdown, hopped on all fours and pretended to hike a leg and pee on the goal post?

9. Get fat like Chris Tucker. Okay, so Chris Tucker isn’t that fat but if anyone can afford to look a little cuddlier these days it’s Michael Vick.

10. Surburbia 2! Granted no one will be after Vick’s booty now that he’s out of the joint and on house arrest, but being confined to your house can still get pretty boring.
So what better way to pass the time than by spying on your rich white neighbors!

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